My $2000 Date from Hell!

I just wanted to tell you all a personal story of my online date that will crack you all up and give you a smile at my expense. So learn from me brothers and sisters and do not do what I did.

I met a lady online using an online singles site like yahoo sigles ( I will keep the site private to protect the lady who is still there ). I saw a photo of a woman in NY and decided to Mingle her. She mingles me back and we start chatting away. Soon after we start talking on the phone and learning all about one another (I thought). I would always ask for more photos since she only had one little one and I could only see sort of what she looked like (get photos people). She always gave me some excuse about no scanner or she would like me to be surprised when ever we met (trick, don't fall for this). She also would tell me every day about how some new guy was trying to hit on her and how hot they all thought she was (these men were blind).

After a few months of chatting and phone call every night for hours from TX to NY, we decided to meet for the first time in FL (what a mistake). I was so into her and thought she was the one. We had everything in common and loved life, family and the pursuit of happiness. I liked the picture of her and her sexy voice and was thinking what a match made in heaven. She was into me and was thinking of relocating to be near me. I was on cloud nine. I even told all my friends on and off line, even building a website as a full tribute to my dieing love. ( how humiliating )

Well I decided (like a fool) to buy her a plane ticket to Florida and to meet her at my condo in Orlando. What a great time we would have on our first meeting and it would be a time to remember (you got that right). So the day came and we caught or planes and by some crazy deal, we meet at the airport to catch the same plane onto Florida.

Well let me tell you (you all can start laughing now) I did not recognize her! She was tore up from the floor up. She looked like she was 20 years older than the photo and was dressed like a 70's reject. I was floored, but did not want to hurt her feelings. She hugged me and kissed me in my mouth (like kissing your grandmother, eeewwww) . She sit beside me on the next plane and tried to touch my MAN HOOD if you know what I mean.

I was in trouble and had 2 weeks of running to do, let alone the $2000 dollars I have already forked out for my dream date (FROM HELL).

We get to the place and I decide to stay at my mom house to kill 2 birds with on stone and mom insisted anyway. My mom is wealthy and is married to a rich man with a large home in Melbourne, FL. about 25 miles from Orlando. I insist on separate rooms to be a gentleman (to hide and cry in shame). She agrees and we finally turn in for the night. Some time during the night my grandmother date from hell decides she would surprise me with a scene from Deep Throat. She violates me while I was sleeping like a crazy kid with a new LOLI POP. I jump up, and kicker her in her mouth and demand her to leave to her room. Now I know you all are just killing yourselves laughing by now, because I would be if I was not crying. With all that we had a great time with my mom and her husband going to the zoo, casinos and area shopping. They kept use busy doing all kinds of things to keep my sane and still a virgin. My mom was laughing every time she saw me and the DATE FROM HELL wasn't looking.

The lady was nice but I decided I had to end this thing early since the trip would end back at my home in TX. You see the ticket I got her was not a round trip one and finished back in TX with me so she could see FL and TX in one trip. ( how stupid could I be )

After the FL thing and all the running away from a woman that was bald on top, looked older then my mom, shaped like Mrs. Potato Head and had boobs that she had to roll up be for sticking into her bra, she was coming home with me to TX.

When we got to TX, I got her a one-way ticket back to NY and lied that I had to leave for Boston on business.

We still are friends, but from 1700 miles away.

The moral to this story is: Look before you leap or Get more pictures before you buy the plane ticket and also just because you like the person on the inside, does not mean that you can deal with the looks on the outside. Sad but true, you need to have a little physical attraction to go with that great person inside that LIED ABOUT WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE!

Rules to follow:

1- GET MORE PICTURES and have the date from the film
2- Put and alarm on you bedroom door to keep ugly, old, hairless, sex starved, no shaped, droopy boobed, hair weaved, grandmothers that think they are all that from trying to rape you in the night!

3- Send a web cam it's cheaper in the long run and a great return on your investment.

True story that happened to me over Thanksgiving weekend year 2003 and this is why I need many pictures and live web cam before I will ever go on a date again.